Chardonnay VS. Chardonnay

Last week on our way to see the latest on-screen adaptation of Hairspray, my friend Isak and I decided to stop for some dinner. He is a legal assistant with the highly reputable Gibson, Dunn & Crutcher - where they work him like a dog. After a particularly trying day at the office, he was in need of some food and wine. I called out "sick" that day, but tough workday or not, I am always willing to get my sip on! He made me promise to write about this on the blog. So here goes.


Isak and I recently went for a quick bite to eat at Caffe Pertutti, a replaceable (if you've eaten there, you know exactly what I mean by that) Italian restaurant located in Morningside Heights on Broadway between 112th & 113th streets. The two of us have a funny history with this little place. Our first dining experience there (September of 2004) consisted of a 40 minute wait for pasta dishes that were measly in serving size, and that I could have cooked for us at home (and I do not have much talent in the kitchen). Two years ago, however, they switched management, revamped their menu, and since then, it is a convenient place to get a decent meal. I particularly enjoy their Tuna Tartar special.

Well, the owner, a sketchy middle-aged Italian man, always used to make eyes gratuitously at Isak as we ate our dinners. He has this way of lurking, especially if you choose to sit in the quaint outdoor cafe. In the summer, from his post on the restaurant's threshold, he gawks and marvels at his pick of clientele and passers-by. Over the years, he has even gone so far as to stop Isak as he’s walking by the restaurant in order to strike up a very forced, very awkward conversation with him, always asking, "How is your friend?" as if he has some secret hope that he might find I had moved away, disappeared or died. He has offered Isak a job, the works. Basically, we all know what he really wants from Isak. We also know he likes the Latin flavor.

Thus, it came as no surprise to Isak or me when we arrived last week to find a newly hired Latin server: clean-cut, buff and showing off a big smile. Upon his arrival at the table Isak and I both let out little “Oh God!” laughs, eyes rolling.

Picking out a wine, I noticed that they advertised the exact same Chardonnay by the bottle and by the full carafe for the exact same price ($25). So I wondered: What’s the difference? Is one more wine? Puzzled, I turned to sketchy manager’s new prize for clarity:

Me: What’s the difference between the bottle of Chardonnay and the carafe? Is one of them more wine?
Latin Boy: Well yes, the full carafe is more wine, but it is also about the quality of the wine. You see, the bottle is much better quality.
Me: Oh…but they are the same Chardonnay, right?
Latin Boy: Yes.

I paused and just looked at him…I guess I was naively waiting for the moment when he would turn to self-deprecation and admit his flaw in logic. No such moment came. When I ordered the full carafe he half-frowned as if to say, “Why didn’t you take my advice about the quality of the wine?”

I turned to Isak and said, “I mean, unless they garnish their carafes with dirt, we’re either pouring the wine from the bottle into our glasses OR they are pouring the wine from the bottle into the carafe AND THEN we are pouring it into our glasses so…”

He just laughed. Good thing that waiter is Latin and handsome. For the sake of his tips, the sake of sketchy manager and most importantly, for Isak's sake, hopefully! ;)